I shave my legs,
     I sit down to pee.  
    And I can justify any shopping spree.                                        
 Don't go to a barber,  
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,  
 I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.  
My beauty's a masterpieceand yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,  at any cost;
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
 I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, "Oh yeah,  I can get her."
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry the  best.
Look at me you idiot...
AND NOT MA BREAST..!!
I don't have a problem,  
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,   
You look at the ceiling.  
DON'T call me a GIRL,  
A BABE or a CHICK.    
I am a WOMAN.  
Get it?  
You DICK!?!